The Waiting Game

The exams are done; I am about 99.8% sure that I failed at least one of them, but I won't find out if this is actually the case until the end of May. This is unfortunate for my sanity, as I'm finding it very difficult to stop worrying about it and focus on the task at hand. To further add to my concerns, I managed to wheedle out of the office staff that 16 people so far have failed this particular exam, so my fears are only exacerbated. For every exam failed, we are allowed one resit, and that is all; after that, we're out.

We have already begun learning the new material; it is much more clinically focussed than what we were learning before the exam, but unfortunately it is much more difficult. The cardiovascular system is a truly fascinating one, but much more complex than basic metabolism. My new lecturer is totally amazing, though, and makes all of his lectures absolutely fascinating; I am much more inclined to get up in the mornings, knowing he is going to be instructing me!

The pressure of the new work, combined with the anxiety of the imminent exams results have led me to the discovery that actually, despite being a mature student, I am not coping very well with the stress, and it is affecting me in ways which I never thought it would. I am much more abrupt that usual, and far more irritable. For example, as I write this, I am irrationally angry that my lecturers do not use full sentences in their notes, so I am forced to re-write everything. It is a terrible thing to reach the age of 24 and realise that you have no idea how to handle stress.